Thursday, January 26, 2012

Food & Happiness


Through my middle and high school years, my parents would take my little brother and I to Montreal in the summers, to visit family. With alternating drivers, the drive up typically took a solid 24 hours. We rarely stopped to spend the night, and fast-food was the accepted means of nutrition on the (quite literally) day-long car ride. These conditions made us all grateful for a lovingly-prepared, homemade meal once we crossed the Canadian border and arrived at Grandma’s house. Savory soups, appetizing salads (vert and couscous), meat pies, regular pies (pumpkin, blueberry) casseroles... 
On the weekends, a parade of my uncles, aunts, cousins, and assorted significant others would march in and partake with us. Red wine would be consumed. Rivers of it, the bottles stacking high to construct a makeshift dam. 
At least in my family, there is a deep correlation between food and happiness. Even before the first cork had been pulled, while buttering bread, I remember smiles on the faces of my goofy relatives.
During the week when my relatives worked and went to school, my father would take my brother and I on elaborate, usually improvised bike rides throughout downtown Montreal, often crossing the Jacques-Cartier bridge`. One regular stop was at a cramped steakhouse on Saint-Laurent called Schwartz’s. Rain or shine, there was a line outside the historical deli. Inside on the walls were pictures of Celine Dion, The Rolling Stones and Jerry Lewis enjoying of the restaurant’s world famous smoked meat sandwiches. 
The sandwich itself was intimating. Layer upon layer of ropy red meat, clamped loosely between two thin pieces of rye bread. Though it often slowed us down on the way back to Grandma’s house, we had the taste of adventure in our bellies...

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Breaking Down Steak 'N Shake


During a recent visit to my neighborhood Steak 'N Shake, I ordered a Coke and one of the chain’s famous double steakburgers. 
“With cheese?” the waitress asked.
“Yes please,” I said. The waitress had pink hair. 
“Lettuce, tomato...?” 
“Yes, please, everything is fine,” I responded, with a go big or go home mentality.
Now, a list of each raw ingredient I could distinguish from my deliciously messy steakburger: 
  • pickle (hmm, where’s a good place for a cucumber garden?) 
  • lettuce (a giant farm in the midwest) 
  • tomato slices (a giant farm in the midwest) 
  • onion (a giant farm in the midwest) 
  • steak patties (a giant farm in the midwest... Astoria, IL?)
  • bread bun (California, I imagine)
  • cheese (Vermont?) 
  • mustard (a hot sweaty factory)
  • mayo (a hot sweaty factory)
  • french fries (Arkansas, probably, for the potatoes, which are shipped to a hot sweaty factory to slice & freeze them)
Though the origins of these ingredients may seem humble and healthy, it’s important to keep in mind how many people eat at Steak ‘N Shake per day. Since their popularity doesn’t seem to be waning,  I wouldn’t be surprised if Steak ‘N Shake sides with Quantity over Quality. 

Monday, January 16, 2012

canadian geese flying over my house as i try to come up with a neat-o title

Waking up, bleary-eyed, my desk full of useless shit. Most of it doesn't even help my writing: a six pack of PayDays; an iPod shuffle; bath salts; chapstick. Little things that get in the way.
My name is Caleb Bouchard, and I'm in my second semester of college, now. I should just preface this new blogging presence by saying a few of my posts here will be intertwined (aka "writing prompts") with my English 1102 class. We've starting by talking about food, and the first response asks us to pick a meal we ate recently, list each raw ingredient and I forget the rest.
Last semester, I maintained a blog on Tumblr for 1101, which was more in the professor allowed to be more of a "free-writing" thing. Every week you just had to post 300 words.
I worked at a club in Marietta, GA from August to December last year, so a lot of my entries stemmed from my experiences there. The club booked a lot of underground music, particularly in the death metal vein. The owner, Lee, is the frontman for a performance art punk rock band called Treephort, and I occasionally filled in as "prank monkey" during their shows. They still play shows, and they've been around for some time. "Nerdcore 'Til The End," is their motto, and you can check out some of their music and live shows here.
I am a writer. It's what I do best in life, and it's what I love doing most. Though some people who have read my stuff says it's funny, I take what I do seriously. One day I want to be able to do it full time. "Influence" is a vague term, but a few of my most enduring ones include Henry Rollins, Lydia Davis, David Sedaris and Richard BrautiganSteve Roggenbuck has been a strong motivator in recent months to be proactive about my writing. He has also taught to not be afraid to take risks in my writing, to be myself in my writing, and to think creatively about how to share my writing.
In the following weeks and months (I don't say years, because I'm something of a social networking nomad), in addition to the writing prompts about all the disgusting shit I put in my mouth, and elaborate bouts of verbal diarrhea, I will post links of where you can find my writing, for free, online (as well as in print). In the meantime, you can follow me on Twitter for more of me writing about me, or check out my mad Morrissey reblogging skillz here.
I adore Morrissey.
I'm so happy to be alive at the same time he is.